Saturday, March 15, 2014

Is this real?

I go back and forth. Sometimes this feels real and sometimes it doesn't. But either way, our egg retrieval is tomorrow morning at 8:15 am! We have to get there at 6am to get everything ready. I am a little nervous about being put to sleep.. And a little nervous about the fact that a needle will be puncturing my ovaries tomorrow.. And I am nervous about wondering if it will work or not.. How many eggs will we will I feel afterwards..

There are so many thoughts and questions going through my mind right now. I know that I must sty focused on God and His promises right now. Even though I have so many questions, there are some things that I know are true and will always be true:

I know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

I know that even at times when I felt like God has forgotten about us, He said that He would NEVER forget us and that our names are written on the palms in His hands. Isaiah 49:14-16

I know that when doubt fills my mind, His comfort gives me renewed hope and cheer. Psalm 94:19

I know that The Lord always keeps His promises and that He is gracious in all that He does. He helps the fallen and lifts those bent beneath their loads. Psalm 145:13-14

I know that God wants us to cast all of our anxieties on Him because He cares for us. 1 Peter 5:7

And one of my fav passages:

O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights? Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:27-31 NLT

There are soooo many more scriptures that give me hope but these are just a few! No matter what happens- I will still put my hope and trust in Him. Will I be upset and disappointed? Of course!! I will be very upset and disappointed and mad and sad & all of the emotions I have felt the past 5 years. But He has a plan that is much bigger than ours and I am going to just have to trust Him. It is always easier said than done though. I am just so thankful for a Godly husband who reminds me of this daily. And for our families and friends and everyone's prayers! I can definitely feel all of the prayers! We are so blessed and thankful!

Also, I have had such a great week with my mom this week and we spent so much quality time together!! Even if it was just laying in bed watching tv all day! Being in pain = forced relaxation!! I am so thankful for her and love her so so much!!

She left a few hours ago and is headed back home. Josh and Kobe will be here very soon and I cannot wait to see them! This is really happening!!


  1. It is real, and it is really happening!! Although we don't understand why God has chosen this path for us, I completely trust Him and thank Him for the opportunity to share it with you. His way is always the best way. We know the promises He has given us, and He ALWAYS keeps his promises! If this is the plan he has chosen to fulfill that promise, then I will be thrilled! I am so proud of you, for your courage, your faith and your trust in God. I'm so excited for the future!! I love you more than ever!! Mom

  2. I have been in your shoes as you know from reading our story. I can tell you that you are out for usually only 20 minutes and I had no pain at all when I woke up. Once tomorrow is over, you have made it through the hardest part. The transfer is so easy. It sounds like you are going to have a lot of viable embryos. Just be positive and trust that it is going to work! I'll be sending you positive vibes tomorrow. Good Luck!